Knowing who your others are is really a tough and personal question that I don’t really often think about. However, this doesn’t mean that I’m completely unaware who they are. The ones that I’m going to mention are the ones that I can think of the moment. Generally my intermediate family can be considered as my intermediate others like my Father, Mother, sister, uncles, aunts, and cousins. But the most significant other in my family would be my grandmother. She is already old but still practically acts like an overlord concerning family matters. She is sweet and kind, understanding and loving. She had 12 children and my dad was among them. And she has numerous grandsons and granddaughters who are happily married and raising their own family. I think the reason that I picked her as the most significant other in my family is due to the fact that I grew up under her intensive care. And growing up under her custody made me feel how far reaching her power and influencing can be in any matters concerning the family. She is no despot. She’s just powerful because she is much respected by all of her children and grand children. Aside from the family, I find my others from my pool of friends and buddies. The people that I usually hang around, and of course the authorities are also significant others. Another important other that have a great impact on me is a figure of my faith. I see my G-d as an important other. I claim this to be not that I claim to be a god, but I claim this because I feel that I’m happily bound to please my G-d.
Have I ever been dominated and objectified, I think yes, dominated and objectified consciously and unconsciously. I believe I’m dominated and objectified as long as I’m alive but not by all people. Only certain people might have dominated and objectify me, but I guess they possess higher authority or just plain arrogant. Some people dominate and objectify people on purpose just to feel good about their self and feed their own ego. I remembered that there was once an encounter just a few years ago. A friend of mine posted something on facebook. Naturally, I posted a comment. But apparently he has a friend that totally disagreed with the comment I wrote. The way he argued his disagreement with me was totally degrading. He was so arrogant in the way he criticized my comment. Although he was convincingly right, but the way he did it dominated and objectified me intellectually. Though he has his right to speak out his mind, he has also the responsibility to deliver it responsibly. I think he was just too proud of his opinion, because it makes so much sense, but not thinking that his wit has made him a bigot. Sorry, but I guess his bigotry overwhelmed his wit. At that time when I asked my friend about that guy who made those arrogant comments, he said that the person is his teacher. Well, what a teacher we have there. I could have learned something, but because of his unmannered reply I learned that he has a mind of an intelligent being, but has a heart uncivilized “kanto” boy. He objectified me, so I guess I might as well make him an object to be ridiculed with.
I think there were numerous encounters where I tried to dominate and objectify people willingly and unwillingly. Though I know that objectifying people is somehow a crime to humanity, I do it because sometimes I act on impulse. It is not necessarily that I feel superior at those moment in time but because I felt that I was right and they were wrong. I can still remember that last new year’s eve of 2010, I almost got embroiled with a fight against other bystanders watching the fireworks. It all started when a guy threw some tiny “paputok” near where the household maids were. We were all watching the fireworks display when suddenly we were thrown with small fireworks. I thought that it was disturbing and rude to throw small “paputoks” at populated areas, especially when the small “paputok” was really thrown at us. And it did not happen just once but twice. So the fact that I felt that I had a moral advantage, I felt that I was in the right position to demand apology from them, I howled against them and pointed my finger at the culprits. I barked at them, “What’s your problem?” “Don’t you know that what you guys are doing are dangerous… you might hurt somebody!” After this few remarks they approached me, there were 2 of them I supposed. I don’t quite remember exactly. When they approached me we went further into a heated argument. I argued that when they hurt anyone of us, can they pay the bills for our hospitalization. I pointed that what they were doing were really unjustified, since we were just innocently watching the awesome fireworks display, when they suddenly threw some fireworks at us. Suddenly another guy came up as if join those whom I confronting. This part is where I think things got messed up. Those guys were almost ready to hit me. Luckily, somehow they were restrained not only because the guard employed at our compound knew them, but he was also ready to protect me if things get worst from worse. Somehow, the arguments turned into reconciliation, when the guy who threw those fireworks offered his embrace. That was the time when I realized and remembered, that due to my zealous pursuit for justice for the wrong they have done against us bystanders, I tried to dominate them on the grounds of morality and objectified them as uneducated and low class people. When my family heard what happened, they also undermined them and gave me an advice not to confront these kinds of people because they are uneducated. They think that they are oppressed therefore, whatever they do is justified. I guess this piece of advice is also like objectifying them. Whether they deserved it or not, I don’t want to judge them anymore.
